There’s no Such Thing as a Free Lunch… Just Stolen Ones.

I don’t know if I can feel any worse than I do now. I finally made the biggest commitment since my wedding vows and threw it all away. I hadn’t had my brand, spankin’ new iPod Touch for a month and I lost it already. What’s worse is, in true “dickhead” fashion, the person who found where I had dropped it, logged into my Facebook account to comment about how I lost it.

I never was anti-Apple but I always thought their gadgets were overpriced. I always found an “alternative to” any apple device that would fit my needs. So when Jobs and his team updated the iPod Touch 4, I was pleasantly surprised to see that, not only did it have the features I was looking for, but it came pretty damn close to the price I was willing to pay. $200 was my limit for just about anything electronic but I figured Apple wasn’t going to budge so why not splurge a little? 2 days after the first iPod, the stupid thing broke. No, I didn’t drop or abuse it. The reset button malfunctioned and so it made it impossible to perform a hard reset that I needed when a couple of downloads failed. So anyways, I had my chance to just get my money back but I thought, why not give this doohickey a real chance? So I hung on to it. Now, just to clarify – the main reason I finally succumbed to Apple’s seduction was because Netflix finally became available to iOS4. I LOVE my Netflix subscription and while many can’t imagine watching videos on such a tiny screen, I was all over that. I couldn’t stream away from home though, since whatever sources I had (open wifi near work or tethered from my phone), but I could wander around my little home, from room to room, which was enough for me. Face time was neat, but not really something I’d use much. Oh, and the app store! Don’t get me started on my phone (WebOS FTW!), but I’m no dope. If anything. Netflix would soon come to Android, but as much as I love my Pre+, I know Netflix won’t care to waste any of their time developing for the “barely holding consumer interest” HPalm. Besides, the fact that I can barely stream YouTube just shows that Verizon’s network is not fast enough for such things.

So a few weeks ago, my wife was perusing Groupon for some deals and she picked up a coupon for the corn maze out on the island. To make this long story much shorter than it needs to be, we hopped in a car with the neighbors and drove to a corn maze 20 miles away. Parking was horrendous, and of course, I was fiddling with my ipod the whole way. I careslessly set it on my lap and when we found a spot, neighbor says “everyone hop out the car and I’ll park as best I can.” So we all jump out. 20 minutes later I realize I don’t have my iPod in any of my pockets and my heart sinks. I knew that by the time I realized I didn’t have my iPod, it was gone. I went back with one of my neighbors to see if it had just fallen on the floor or hoping nobody picked it up yet. But it was gone as I predicted. When I returned home, I went to cry on Facebook about how I lost my new toy and I saw someone had already posted (as me) that I lost my phone at the corn maze. Should have been content enough to have a $230 new toy, but that’s not enough for some people. No, they gotta rub it in some how.

I have a history of losing things. Heck, I used to drop my wallet all the time. I know the routine: call your banks, cancel your credit cards, the whole bit. But this time I didn’t really have any financial info on that iPod. What changed everything was how those “fun” little apps made it so easy to log into all your shit. I don’t trust the internet with my personal info. I’ve been entering fake “personal” info into my email accounts for years. But then when you need those things for real things (purchases, personal/professional contacts)… I just about freaked out. I had to change all my passwords to all the social networks as quickly as possible. My email accounts were accessible at the touch of an icon, thus leaving everyone I know vulnerable. My heart sank even more. There were a ton of high school shits all over that corn maze. Hopefully they were just glad to snag a new. expensive toy. If they were nosy enough to snoop through my email stuff, I don’t know what I’d do. There goes my virtual bubble of security. For a moment, I thought it’d be better if I lost my phone. But no, that would be much worse, I know. The Pre isn’t exactly a highly coveted device, but that is my lifeblood. Everything important to me is connected to that device and since I use it as my primary form of contact, all my contact info is real. There’s a reason, I suppose, that I lost my iPod and not my phone (or both). I had my iPod carelessly sitting on my lap. My phone however, was in my pocket and securely cradled in my hand.

I still feel crummy though. I went all out to protect that stupid media player. After I picked up my first replacement on that 3rd day, I went ahead and got an extended warranty (which I never get for anything, so why the iPod….?) and I saw how the first one was so easily scratched so I applied Invisible Shield to it. I had somebody do it to. I’ve applied that thing to a couple other things I own and it didn’t turn out so nice. Now I’m debating whether or not Apple devices are in my future. I feel crummy because I can barely afford such things and I lost it within a month. I paid cash for that stupid thing and I had to put the extended warranty on my credit card (which still bothers me to this day). I’m going to file a police report tomorrow and see if my insurance will cover this loss. But if not, I guess I’m out $300 (that’s the iPod+warranty+plastic coating).

$300 bucks on my first “i-something.” ouch. Whoever picked it up, I’m hoping you’ll find a way to return it to me. Otherwise, enjoy it, you thieving bastard. You deserve whatever ill-intended things that come your way.

Edit: This just occurred to me – I have no way to wipe my iPod. Yup, no Mobile Me 😦 There are still 200+ emails stored on my iPod. Yeah. I dunno if I can sleep tonight. Effin thieves.

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